Things Girls Want !
I read an article this morning called "15 signs you've got a good man"
by James Michael Sama.
The article was written highlighting 15 key points as to how a good man should act in a relationship. James states that he believes a lot of people these days may not be quite sure as to what a good relationship should feel like and or how a good man/woman should act toward their partner. I happened to like this article in its simplicity, and have found myself thinking about it all day.
The thing that kept crossing my mind, was that so many articles written about relationships are directed towards women, and women already know what it is they want from a partner and usually if that man is living up to their expectations or not.
SO!!! This brought me to the idea that I wanted to write a blog post directed to the guys from a girls point of view. I am sure there are a lot of girls out there who read James's article and cross referenced his key points as to what makes a man good with their own, but still perhaps felt that there was more lacking.
The truth is, guys might be genuinely good, but it has been my observation that most of them just don't seem to understand how, no matter what they do, or how hard they try, still isn't good enough.
So to help clarify this, I have put together my own list of what girls really love from their men.
A girl wants to be shown you love her.
It's not just enough to tell your girl that you love her. Unfortunately in this day and age, those three words seem to be used way too often and are often incisor. Girls need to be shown from their man that he loves her through physical actions. These are the types of actions that are reserved only for your girl to make her see that she is 'special' to you.
Forehead kisses! - Kissing your girl on her forehead is such a sweet and intimate thing to do, I mean if you think about it, how many other people do you kiss on the forehead? Its also a very affectionate kiss that says "I love you just because" rather than the other kind of passionate kissing that says "I love you because I want your body'
Holding Hands! - Initiating or reaching for your girls hand, weather out in public or while sitting cosy on the couch, says "I need you and your touch" and "I'm proud to be with you".
Acts of Chivalry!- Opening the car door or allowing your girl to enter through a door first is an old fashion sign of respect and adoration. If you love your girl, show her in your actions that you hold her presence in higher esteem and treat her like the lady she wants to be treated as.
Surprise Gifts! - Showing up to see your girl with the occasional surprise gift, or sending her a bouquet of flowers every once in a while shows your girl that you love her even when you are not with her. These gifts do not have to be expensive or cost money at all. This is one time when the old cliche "The thought that counts" couldn't be more true!
Sleeping Snuggles! - Show your girl she is loved and safe in your arms when you fall asleep. Sleeping is such an intimate act and is one of the very few things in life that is reserved to share with usually only one other person. When you sleep you are also put into such a vulnerable state, thus wrapping your arms around your girl, for as long as you or her can handle, shows her that you are there to keep her safe in her most vulnerable time.
Post on Social Media!- We live in a day an age where temptation is everywhere and everyone has a platform in which to share their lives in one way or another with friends, family and strangers. Show your girl you love her by taking yourself off the 'available' market and let the world know you are in a relationship. Every girls wants to feel like the man she is with is proud of her and in some ways wants to show her off!
Participate in her life
Girls are often the nurturers in the relationship. A role they come to naturally and with no hidden agenda. I don't know how many times I have seen or spoken to women about how they often feel lonely even though they have man in their life. Of course it is very healthy for a couple to have their own outside interests from the relationship but this does not mean a complete desclusion. Girls who choose to be in a relationship do so because they want the companionship.
Offer to help!- I read the children's story today called "The little red hen" and it reminded me of what happens when one person seems to be carrying the load in concerns of all the mundane tasks that take up a part of our daily life. How many times have you sat down at the breakfast, lunch or dinner table and ate a delicious meal prepared for you by your girl? Although I am sure you have thanked her for the fare, sometimes that is not enough to show your girl you love her and that you really appreciate the effort she has put forth. Next time your girl is going to the grocery store, offer to go with her!! Even if she says no, the gesture will be more than enough to show her that you care.
Suggest activities! - If your girl decides to take up a new career, hobby or what not, it is not simply enough to verbally encourage and believe in her. Do some research and suggest the two of you go and check out the new venture together! This could be the suggestion to accompany her to the photography store if she has decided she wants to take that up, or as simple as sending her a link to the latest convention that correlates with her new found passion!
Include her in your future plans!- Just as it is natural for your girl to have outside interests from the relationship, it is also healthy and as James says 'inspiring" for her man to have his own. Often times though these interests can cause a sense of separation and disharmony between the couple because the man can start thinking and speaking so singularly that he forgets that the girl who he is looking to for support while he is trying to attain his new goal, he is actually pushing away by not speaking about the two of them and the benefits to them both once his goal is achieved. So guys, speak in a way that shows your girl you for see her in your future. for example, "once I finish this career advancement, I can see us travelling to_____"! or something more relevant to what it is you are trying to achieve.
Be Honest
I can not stress this enough! Unfortunately there are a lot of dishonest people out there, and chances are, your girl has dated one in the past. It is your responsibility to always tell your girl the truth, even if you think she is not going to like it. Being honest is the only way in which a foundation of trust can be built upon and you have to accept that trust is something that is earned, not just given. Consistency, patience and being forthcoming with your girl will surely win out in the end and the benefits of being with a girl who trusts you far outweigh the few unhappy times when you have had to tell her of a truth that she may not of liked!
Apologise
This is no easy task, as often times our ego can get in the way and make an argument go on for a lot longer than it needs to. At the root of it, every girl wants her man to fight for the relationship. Not walk away and stay silent for an unforeseen amount of time. If you really love your girl, then accept that at times you are going to disagree, but hold firm and do not leave the situation until the problem is solved. NEVER go to bed angry! If it takes you to be the first one to say you're sorry, then do it! If you stormed off and left her alone, go back with flowers and work it out! Every girl wants a man who is willing to try and work it out, especially when there are so many others out there who are willing to just quit and move on to the next.
Be kind
Guys, you have to remember that girls are sensitive creatures. We may have tough outer shells, but deep down we want and need a man who is stronger than we are. Most girls grow up with the hope and dream to meet their soul mate and fall head over heels in love and be with that person for the rest of their lives. You have to remember that being in a relationship is a choice and if you don't feel like you want to give your girl all that she deserves, then don't be in the relationship! Treat your girl as if you never want to loose her, and chances are, you never will!
Of course along with all the above stated, is the responsibility of the female and her role in the relationship, but this article after all, was intended to shed some light for the male counter part!
If you are one of the lucky guys or girls out there who has a good companion, I congratulate you! Being in a happy and long term relationship is no easy task, but I am sure, that with mutual understanding and a joint desire to make the relationship work, then finding love and maintaining it can be one of the most rewarding feats of a life time!!
